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| How Do I Prodigal-Proof My Child? |
The number of prodigals in our society has risen to epidemic
proportions. According to recent statistics, eighty-eight percent of children
raised in an evangelical Christian home will leave the church by the age of
eighteen. Most will turn away from authority, parental values, and biblical
teaching, losing their potential, their health, and their destiny—sometimes
even their life.
Without exception, everywhere I go I meet someone in the middle of a crisis with either one or more of their children. These are the questions I am most often asked:
* Is there hope?
* What can I do in the meantime?
* Is there a way to prevent this from happening to my younger
children?
Having our son and daughter both take a dark path as teenagers was
the last thing my husband and I expected. We had done everything we knew to
raise our children in a loving and godly environment, thinking we had done all
the right things. Our children went to Sunday school, VBS, and Christian camps.
They never listened to secular music or read secular books. They could quote
Scripture verses and knew all the words to the most popular Christian songs. Born
again and baptized at a very early age, they were good, upstanding, obedient
kids. What could have possibly gone wrong?
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| Praying for the Prodigal |
The staggering truth is: Even good kids rebel—and even good parents
can end up with a prodigal.
Looking back, one of my biggest regrets is not establishing a
healthy foundation and creating reasonable boundaries when my children were
small. When we have guidelines in place, it’s easier to recognize the
conflicting signals as our children hold tightly to us with one hand and push
us away with the other. This means they’re struggling for independence—which is
exactly how God designed them. Just like a baby bird cannot stay in the nest
forever, our children must learn to fly. Our job is to let them go, but to
remain a soft place for them to land when they fall.
My greatest challenge as a parent has been the ability to be firm
without becoming angry. This is why boundaries are so important—no matter how
old your children happen to be. Establishing reasonable rules everyone can live
with—and enforcing them when they’re broken—creates a stable environment for
everyone. Children and teenagers will test the limits continually, and they are
counting on consistency. It makes them feel loved, secure, and safe.
I’ve also found it’s important to be open, honest, and transparent
with your children. They can see through even the slightest pretense. Be quick
to apologize when you mess up. Admit that you’re not perfect and don’t have all
the answers. They already know, and will respect your honesty and
humility—whether they show it or not.
Be the parent, the adult—not the cool friend. There will be plenty
of time to be friends later. Children need a guide, an example, a stable,
focused adult to give them direction.
Whether you’re dealing with a prodigal or searching for ways to
equip your smaller children to face future temptations, God’s Word is filled
with wisdom, instruction, and promises for those who will dare to believe and
trust Him. In Praying
for the Prodigal, you will find many of His promises, along with
advice from the prodigal’s point of view and thirty days of prayers and
Scriptures to give you strength and courage as you travel this parenting
journey.
(Excerpts from Praying for
the Prodigal by Andrea Merrell, published by Lighthouse Publishing of the
Carolinas. Used by permission.)
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| Andrea Merrell |
Readers, if you'd like to read my review of Andrea's book click here.
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